| Step 1: 
 | As citizens of New York City, we were born with the understanding that we are superior. 
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| Step 2: 
 | We realized that there is no place greater than New York City; the rest of the world is totally barbaric. 
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| Step 3: 
 
 | We became adept at manipulating as many people as possible into turning their
lives over to our management, even though they may not fully understand our talent. 
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| Step 4: 
 
 | We made a complete and fearless moral inventory of every acquaintance, no matter how small. 
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| Step 5: 
 | We publicly proclaimed the exact nature of their ignorance and their mistakes. 
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| Step 6: 
 | We assumed our natural role of reminding everyone else how to straighten up and fly right. 
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| Step 7: 
 
 | We demanded that people who were unable to accept our guidance either shape up or ship out. 
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| Step 8: 
 
 | We made a list of all persons who had harmed us, and we became willing to do just about anything
to get rid of them all. 
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| Step 9: 
 
 | We took revenge on such people whenever possible, except when to do so would endanger our
own lives or increase our odds of spending serious time in jail. 
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| Step 10: 
 | We continued to take the moral inventory of others, and when they were wrong, we promptly
and repeatedly informed them about it. 
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| Step 11: 
 | We sought through complaining and nagging to compel others to submit to our will, asking
only that they cave in, knuckle under, and do things our way. 
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| Step 12: 
 | Having had a complete emotional breakdown as a result of these steps, we blamed it all on our "Higher Power", AND THEN
WE MOVED TO SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA!!! 
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